Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't.

Rock 'n' roll is really swing with a modern name. It began on the levees and plantations, took in folk songs, and features blues and rhythm. It's the rhythm that gets to the kids - they're starved of music they can dance to, after all those years of crooners.

Rock and roll is a river of music that has absorbed many streams: rhythm and blues, jazz, ragtime, cowboy songs, country songs, folk songs. All have contributed to the big beat.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a descent meal.

Why aren't the dinosaurs here today? Because they didn't have a Space Program!

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

If nothing is pressing, piddle around at this and that.

Human Dignity has gleamed only now and then and here and there, in lonely splendor, throughout the ages, a hope of the better men, never an achievement of the majority.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.

To read a newspaper is to refrain from reading something worthwhile. The first discipline of education must therefore be to refuse resolutely to feed the mind with canned chatter.

Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.

There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

Never eat more than you can lift.

The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move

Enjoyed the meal? Buy one to go too.

I realized a long time ago that a belief which does not spring from a conviction in the emotions is no belief at all.