A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

The world is governed more by appearances than realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.

The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name.

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye; the more light you pour upon it, the more it will contract.

Never judge a book by its movie.

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.

The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret.

Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.

A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

Patience is the companion of wisdom.

I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

The future will be better tomorrow.

Men are born with two eyes, but only one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they say.

To have doubted one's own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors.