Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Fools rush in where fools have been before.

Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

1. Never tell everything at once.

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything.

Hello seeker! Now don't feel alone here in the New Age, because there's a seeker born every minute.

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

If man does find the solution for world peace it will be the most revolutionary reversal of his record we have ever known.

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people.

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters.

We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.

I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.