You miss 100% of the shots you never take.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

People change and forget to tell each other.

Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

People who say, 'Let the chips fall where they may,' usually figure they will not be hit by a chip.

I would like not to cut any new channels of consciousness but simply dig deeper into old ones that have become silted in with the debris of thoughts grown stale and platitudes too often repeated. "What's new?" is an interesting and broadening eternal question, but one which, if pursued exclusively, results only in an endless parade of trivia and fashion, the silt of tomorrow. I would like, instead, to be concerned with the question "What is best?", a question which cuts deeply rather than broadly, a question whose answers tend to move the silt downstream. There are eras of human history in which the channels of thought have been too deeply cut and no change was possible, and nothing new ever happened, and "best" was a matter of dogma, but that is not the situation now. Now the stream of our common consciousness seems to be obliterating its own banks, losing it's central direction and purpose, flooding the lowlands, disconnecting and isolating the highlands and to no particular purpose other than the wasteful fulfillment of its own internal momentum. Some channel deepening seems called for.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.