Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

The best way to destroy your enemy is to make him your friend.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.

Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship.

Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination.

The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.

Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle.