Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own.

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.

Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.

When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were.

Where facts are few, experts are many.

All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.

When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'

When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway.

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man ... only five hundred.

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting.

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves there wouldn't be enough to go around.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.