An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly.

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.

If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.

I think meaning is always a latecomer. Beauty and music seduce us first; later, ashamed of our own sensuality, we insist on meaning.

Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.

We are bits of stellar matter that got cold by accident, bits of a star gone wrong.

Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so.