I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves.

There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey.

You wake me up early in the morning to tell me I am right? Please wait until I am wrong.

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?

People want economy and they will pay any price to get it.

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

Some for renown, on scraps of learning dote -- And think they grow immortal as they quote.

It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.