Never go out to meet trouble. If you will just sit still, nine cases out of ten someone will intercept it before it reaches you.

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

War is a cowardly escape from the problems of peace.

Life is not about discovering our talents; it is about pushing our talents to the limit and discovering our genius.

A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

Don't find fault. Find a remedy.

It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Is there life before death?

What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.

Perfect order is the forerunner of perfect horror.

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.

Real luxury is time and opportunity to read for pleasure.

I learned nothing in college. It was really kind of my own fault. I had a double major: psychology and reverse psychology.

Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

Why resist temptation? There will always be more.