Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.

How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better.

There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.

People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

A chess genius is a human being who focuses vast, little-understood mental gifts and labors on an ultimately trivial human enterprise.

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.