Reality is something you rise above.

All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.

When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it.

A man's silence is wonderful to listen to.

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.